The Smithsonian wants his eyebrows

BMW announced it is laying off 850 workers at its British factory which builds the Mini car. Mini workers immediately filed a grievance through their union, the Lollipop Guild.

So far, no one has been able to explain a fireball that streaked across the Texas sky over the weekend. Former President George W. Bush has been bugging the FAA to identify it because he’s afraid it might be his legacy.

Madame Tussauds Washington D.C. wax museum celebrated Presidents Day by unveiling a wax figure of Theodore Roosevelt, the 26th president of the United States. In honor of the last presidential campaign, wax figures of President Obama and John McCain will be kneeling at his feet.

A survey of 65 historians ranked Abraham Lincoln as the nation's best president, with George W. Bush finishing 36th. Bush is hoping to move up when his library is finished and visitors can see videos of him splitting rails, freeing slaves and reading “My Pet Goat” to schoolchildren by the light of a fireplace.

After 41 years at ABC News, 74-year-old newsman Sam Donaldson is finally retiring from full-time work. ABC plans to retire Sam’s microphone and the Smithsonian wants his eyebrows.

Defending champion Todd Palin finished a disappointing sixth in Alaska's Iron Dog snowmobile race and was met at the finish line with a kiss from his wife, Governor Sarah Palin. He would have done better if she had met him at the starting line with a moose gun.

President Obama has canned his idea of appointing a “car czar” to run the auto industry and instead will establish a presidential task force. That’s the last thing the auto industry needs – more airbags.

The Nevada Gaming Control Board sent a memo to casinos warning them to watch for blackjack players using a card-counting program that works on iPhones. Using a device to count cards is a felony, so at least you’ll have a phone to make your one call.

When asked in an interview about President Obama, former President Bill Clinton said, “I think he’s off to a good start.” Or did he? Witnesses who were close to Clinton before the Secret Service cut his microphone claim he said, “I think he’s got a good wife who’s hot.”

New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand says she and her husband keep two rifles under their bed to protect their home. One is for poor Democratic burglars trying to steal her money and the other is for rich Republican burglars trying to steal her job.