The results are in. The winner of both the Most Popular and the Least Popular Super Bowl commercial was the one featuring President Obama plugging his stimulus package.
The Rev. Ed Taylor, the Smoky Mountains who estimates he’s performed about 85,000 marriages in Gatlinburg, Tennessee in the last 30 years, is finally retiring. He says it has nothing to do with a rumor that a polygamist group from Texas just booked a vacation in Dollywood.
Customers of a Tucson cable service say their broadcast of the Super Bowl was interrupted with about 10 seconds of pornographic material. It confused some fans who thought it was halftime again and Janet Jackson was singing.
Tom Daschle, President Obama's pick to head the Health and Human Services Department, said he’s “deeply embarrassed and disappointed” about his failure to pay more than $120,000 in taxes. Then he saw his shadow, which means we’ll have six more weeks of Obama nominees with tax problems.
More bad news for Michael Phelps. Today his favorite workout pool was tested and found to be filled entirely with bong water.
After the Steelers won the Super Bowl, fans in Pittsburgh started fires and caused trouble all around the city. In honor of one of the game’s top plays, police released drunks who could walk a straight line for 100 yards.
A George Washington historian says Martha Washington wasn’t always frumpy and was actually pretty hot when they got married. How hot was she? After the honeymoon, George had to get new wooden teeth because the old ones were singed.
Sanjaya Malakar, everybody’s least favorite former “American Idol” contestant , says this season's new judge, Kara DioGuardi, has revitalized the show. In spite of his comments, Kara still won’t give Sanjaya the name of her hairdresser.
The University of Cincinnati is holding a “Sexploration” week to teach students about safer sex. Students who were home-schooled during high school must first attend Remedial Sexploration.
Police in Tampa, Florida, arrested four men who allegedly harassed police horses during area patrols. Wait until these guys find out what the cops mean by locking them up in a “stable” environment.
An 18-year-old Boy Scout in Lincoln Park, Michigan, earned all 121 scout merit badges. That includes the rarely-awarded badge for untying over 100 different knots used by the rest of the troop to tie him up for being so annoying.
Two Stanford University physicists have successfully engraved letters so small that they could print a 32-volume encyclopedia 2,000 times on the head of a pin. The research was jointly funded by insurance policy printers and the makers of drug warning labels.
A group in India is working to produce a $20 laptop computer. I think the company is called Slumdog Microsoft.
Relatives of Bernie Madoff are so embarrassed that they’re changing the last names of Bernie’s grandchildren. I’m not sure that Scott and Megan Mygrandpasacrook is much better.
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