Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Pop’s out the door

Martha Stewart has signed a deal to move her daily program to the Hallmark Channel. The only restriction Hallmark asked is that Martha refrain from showing viewers how to use large leaves to make their own greeting cards.

Police in arrested a woman for cocaine possession after she tried to convince an officer that the powder on her mouth was from eating a powdered doughnut. That’s like trying to sneak an intern in men’s clothing past Hillary Clinton.

ABBAWORLD, a new museum-and-theme park dedicated to the Swedish group, opened this week in London. It’s kind of like Disneyland if the entire park was shut down except for the “It’s A Small World” ride.

When the 2009 NBA champion L.A. Lakers visited the White House this week, Khloe Kardashian – who is married to Laker Lamar Odom – got to meet President Obama. What a picture … someone who has no clue about what’s going on in America meeting Khloe Kardashian.

President Obama is still getting flak for his interview with Diane Sawyer which began with the president giving her a kiss. He told Michelle it was nothing and said, “I'd rather be a really good one-term husband than a mediocre two-term husband.”

Rumor has it Tiger Woods received a visit from his wife Elin Nordegren at a sex rehab clinic. She was shocked at how thin his fingers were now that he can’t text anymore.

American Idol contestant Michael Lynche was kicked out of the competition after his father violated a confidentiality agreement and revealed to a reporter that he made the top 24. Lynche is hoping to get back in next season with his new song, “Pop’s out the door, Pop’s out the door, acted like a fool so my Pop’s out the door.”

A national coalition of women's groups wants CBS to scrap its plan to broadcast an ad during the Super Bowl featuring Tim Tebow and his mother giving an anti-abortion message. Tebow may try to sneak one in anyway with a commercial asking beer drinkers where they would be if there were no baby Clydesdales.

Scott Brown, the newly-elected Republican senator from Massachusetts, is set to appear on “The Jay Leno Show.” And the people who voted for him will appear on “Jaywalking.”

According to a new study, little girls learn to fear math from women teachers who are concerned about their own math skills. And their fear of phys ed class is learned from women gym teachers who are concerned about how they look in shorts.

Concert promoter Live Nation and ticket-seller Ticketmaster have merged after promising the Justice Department that the union would lower ticket prices for consumers. And if you believe that, they want to talk to you about a great deal on tickets to a Beatles reunion concert.

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