What part of pass-“word” is so hard to understand?

President Obama and his wife donated $15,000 from their personal bank account to the Clinton-Bush Haiti fund. Out of habit, Bush cashed the check and sent the unmarked bills to Iraq.

Police in New Hampshire received a call from a man who reported that he paid a prostitute for sex, but then she refused to give it to him. If you listen to the tape of the 9-1-1 call, you can hear the operator say, “I’m sorry, Mr. Woods. This is part of your shock therapy.”

Interior Secretary Ken Salazar wants a ban on the importation of Burmese pythons and eight other kinds of large snakes because they’re a threat to the Everglades and other wildlife areas. Not to mention the inspiration for really bad movies.

In a traditional ceremony, Pope Benedict XVI blessed two lambs whose wool will be shorn to make shawls for newly appointed archbishops to wear. The lambs questioned the pope’s motives after noting the holy water had a distinct minty smell.

“Slumdog Millionaire” director Danny Boyle has signed on produce a stage adaptation of “Frankenstein.” In Boyle’s version, the Frankenstein monster goes on “Deal or No Deal” in an attempt to win enough money to pay for a better brain.

Former Democratic presidential candidate John Edwards has finally admitted he’s the father of a child born to a campaign aide he had an affair with. Callers to his office heard Edwards’ new ringtone, “It’s Too Late, Baby.”

John Edwards’ former aide Andrew Young says in a new book that Edwards asked him to steal a diaper of the child he finally admitted fathering so he could conduct his own paternity test. This is just more evidence that Edwards has had a pampered life.

NBC said agreed to pay Conan O’Brien $33 million and his staff $12 million as a settlement for leaving the “Tonight” show. The staff members plan to pool the money to pay their fines and legal fees after keying all of Jay Leno’s cars.

The New York Times announced it will introduce a “metered model” in 2011 to charge people for using its web site. With so few people interested in paying for news on the Internet, they could probably get by with a millimetered model.

According to a leading data security firm, the top three most commonly used passwords are 123456, 12345 and 123456789. What part of pass-“word” is so hard to understand?

Prostitutes in Greece are protesting a law that allows them to walk the streets but makes it illegal to open brothels. Greek politicians aren’t expected to change the law since chasing prostitutes down the street is often the only exercise they get.

New Massachusetts senator Scott Brown posed nude in Cosmopolitan in 1982 as the winner of Cosmo's 1st Male Centerfold Contest. That explains why he’s been swamped with job applications from interns who used to work for former “wide stance” Senator Larry Craig.