Moo lie!

The Who’s appearance at the Super Bowl in Miami is being protested because Pete Townshend was arrested in 2003 for accessing child pornography online as part of research for his autobiography. Pete offered to show he’s sorry by having the band play his new song about the incident: “My Degeneration.”

In his second tape in a week, Al-Qaida leader Osama bin Laden blamed the U.S. for global warming and called for a boycott on American products. Good idea. The first product he needs to boycott is cassette tapes.

“Star Wars” creator George Lucas is reportedly working on a big-screen, animated musical. Rumor has it it’s musical version of “Star Wars” and one of the singing villains is Meatloaf the Hutt.

The wedding of Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney, former stars of "The Bachelor," will be shown on ABC in March. It will be followed by the honeymoon on Playboy TV, their first fight on ESPN and their breakup on Divorce Court.

A driver in Scotland is fighting a ticket he got for blowing his nose while his car was stuck in a traffic jam. Apparently he was causing a dangerous situation by distracting the other drivers who were booger-necking.

A Tesco supermarket in Wales has become the first in the country to ban customers from shopping in pajamas or bare feet. The only exception is if they’re sleepwalking to the pharmacy to get a refill on their Ambien prescription.

Toyota announced it has figured out how to fix the problem with sticking accelerator pedals that has prompted a massive recall. The tough part will be driving with a can of WD40 duct-taped to your foot.

Argentina's president Cristina Fernandez said in a speech that “It is much more gratifying to eat some grilled pork than to take Viagra.” The speech was interrupted by a senator from a beef cattle state who yelled, “Moo lie!”

Russia unveiled its first stealth fighter, almost two decades after the U.S. developed the technology. It’s not really invisible. It just bombs radar operators with vodka until they don’t care if they see it or not.

Genealogists have discovered a common ancestor that makes President Barack Obama and newly-elected Massachusetts Senator Scott Brown 10th cousins. Brown was a little disappointed when his new cousin Barry refused to help him move his stuff to Washington.