In an recent interview, Harry Whittington – the lawyer shot in the face by Dick Cheney on a hunting trip – said his injuries were worse than reported and Cheney has never apologized. Cheney claims he tried to apologize once but the little devil on his left shoulder shot the little angel on his right shoulder.
In the latest Delaware Senate debate, Republican Christine O'Donnell could not name a single recent Supreme Court decision she disagreed with. However, she had no trouble naming three spells that turn smarty-pants debate moderators into toads.
The 33 rescued miners are getting gifts from all over the world. They all turned down a trip to Disneyland because they’re terrified of the It’s A Small World ride.
Spike TV is said to be working on a mining reality series from the producers of “Deadliest Catch.” I think they should combine it with another reality series and throw the cast of “Jersey Shore” down a hole.
When a 24.6-inch-tall Nepalese teenager turned 18 this week, he was officially declared the world's shortest man by Guinness record officials. He’s so small, his high school class voted him “Most likely to not mind getting stuffed in a locker.”
Rescued Chilean miner Edison Pena is an Elvis Presley fan, so he was thrilled to receive an all-expenses-paid trip to Memphis and a special tour of Graceland. When he was first trapped he was a fan of the fat Elvis, but now he prefers the thin one.
First lady Michelle Obama says she's bringing the arts to the White House to “lift young people up.” Republicans immediately condemned this lifting-up program as a sign the Obama administration hates the elevator industry.
Wal-Mart Stores announced a new program to buy more locally-grown produce. The program starts as soon as they find people who can grow Slim Jims.
No comments:
Post a Comment