Corner the market on rust

With the swine flu tapering off, Mexico's health secretary has decided to allow most businesses to reopen this week. In a bit of nostalgia, right wing radio hosts immediately said this means the terrorists have won.

In addition buying Chrysler, Fiat is also thinking about buying Opel, the European branch of General Motors. If all of the deals are completed, Fiat will have cornered the world market on rust.

To celebrate the 40th anniversary of Woodstock, a concert on August will feature veterans Jefferson Starship, Big Brother and the Holding Co., Ten Years After, Canned Heat, Mountain, and Country Joe McDonald. Unlike at the original concert, this time the scaffolding on the stage will be used to hold up the performers.

President Obama says he’s going to change the tax policy to eliminate tax havens for individuals and corporations. In a related story, the Pentagon has put troops on high alert in case of attacks by Switzerland, the Bahamas or Barbados.

According to a new poll, Senator Arlen Specter's switch to the Democratic Party put him ahead in the 2010 race in Pennsylvania. Based on that, Norm Coleman has decided to become a Democrat and call for a new election in Minnesota.

A man in Texas is auctioning off a book of old drugstore formulas that appears to have the original recipe for mixing Dr. Pepper. The list of ingredients includes mandrake root, sweet flag root and syrup, which explains why it’s listed next to the formula for Pepto Bismol.

In England, the Catholic Bishop of Nottingham has denounced the film “Angels & Demons” as “total rubbish.” Since the movie isn’t out yet, he’s basing his review on an image of the film he saw on a piece of burnt toast.

Comedian Joan Rivers and Texas Hold ‘Em champ Annie Duke are the finalists on “The Celebrity Apprentice.” Talk about poker faces. These two look like the “after and “way after” pictures in an ad for Botox.

In Georgia, the DeKalb County Commission has made the nation's first Waffle House a historic property. It opened in 1955 and still has the first dollar paid by the first 4am drunk customer who couldn’t tell if he was eating breakfast or dinner.

Insiders say Microsoft will stop selling its Windows Vista operating system as soon as the new Windows 7 version is available. Jerry Seinfeld is selling half of his Porsche collection to buy up all remaining copies of that commercial he did for Vista.

A new category called Best WTF Moment has been added to the list of MTV Movie Awards to honor some of the most shocking scenes in the previous year's films. The Supreme Court is already calling it “A day that will live in infamy.”