Sunday, May 3, 2009

Porko Vallarta

Swine flu has been discovered among pigs on a farm in Canada. Apparently they caught it from one who just came back from visiting a favorite piggy vacation spot in Mexico: Porko Vallarta.

A pilot walked away unharmed from a crash in Washington state after landing his small plane in a field full of portable toilets. The former commercial pilot said is reminded him of landing in Newark.

Health officials say the swine flu epidemic is reducing physical displays of friendship like hand-shaking, kissing and hugging. Former president Bill Clinton calls it the worst thing to happen to him since Linda Tripp.

“X-Men Origins: Wolverine” was the top movie over the weekend. Not only did it help the movie industry, it also caused an increase in business at nail salons.

British police arrested an 18-year-old high school student who used his computer to superimpose the faces of teachers and fellow students on pornographic pictures. Once he finishes performing community service, he’s expected to get a job making before-and-after ads for a weight-loss clinic.

Mine That Bird beat 50-1 odds to win the Kentucky Derby and pay $103.30 on a $2 bet. Many of the people who won spent the money on dry cleaning after spitting their mint juleps all over themselves.

President Obama called Mexican President Felipe Calderon to share information about each country's efforts to combat the swine flu. Calderon talked about finding more masks for his citizens while Obama talked about finding more duct tape for Joe Biden.

After the Obamas returned from a date on Saturday, Secret Service agents left them alone while they walked around the White House grounds holding hands. Reporters say it was the most unrehearsed romantic scene on the White House lawn since President George W. Bush turned the hose on his dogs.

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