Our Lady of Scrubby Bubbles

A Miss California Pageant official confirmed reports that contestant Carrie Prejean received free breast implants, organized and paid for by the pageant, weeks before the Miss USA competition. With this new information, judge Perez Hilton has changed his vote from “No” to “Faux No.”

A restaurant in California is swamped with people wanting to see the image of Our Lady of Guadalupe that a cook says she saw on the griddle. Since they were not in Guadalupe and the griddle was about to be cleaned, religious experts say technically it’s an image of Our Lady of Scrubby Bubbles.

Kobe Bryant's Los Angeles Lakers jersey was the top seller this season at the NBA Store and its Web site, beating out LeBron James, Chris Paul and last year’s winner, Kevin Garnett. For the fourth straight year, the top-selling NBA-themed tent is Charles Barkley’s jersey.

Vice President Joe Biden announced plans to visit Bosnia, Herzegovina, Serbia and Kosovo. Residents in those countries were hoping for President Obama, but they’re happy to get any U.S. leader who can pronounce their names correctly.

The swine flu has caused a sever shortage of surgical masks around the country. It’s so bad, the cast of “Grey’s Anatomy” has offered to donate theirs to anyone willing to admit they still watch the show.

President Obama is expected to nominate a woman to replace Supreme Court Justice David Souter. His wife Michelle was a possible choice, but she pulled her name out of consideration because the robe would hide her arms.

Retiring Supreme Court Justice David Souter once said he had “the world's best job in the world's worst city.” He’s expected to take the second-best job in the second-worst city when he goes to L.A. to replace Paula Abdul on “American Idol.”

A Florida lawyer who let a female client work off her fee through sex has been disbarred by the Florida Supreme Court. That’s what happens when you hire an attorney from an ad on Craigslistoflawyers.org.

The new national poet laureate of Great Britain is Carol Ann Duffy, the first woman and first openly gay poet to hold the job. She’s expected to inspire thousands of Irish men to write limericks about two women from Nantucket.

Royal security officers arrested a couple for having sex on the lawn of Windsor Castle. They were observed from a window for half an hour before Prince Charles stopped reminiscing and called the guards.

Game and toy maker Hasbro is teaming with the Discovery Channel to produce a new cable channel aimed at children 14 and younger. It will be called Discovery of Things To Beg Mommy For.

The swine flu continues to cause panic. Emergency rooms are reporting a sudden increase in children with cuts from smashing their piggy banks to get their money before it’s infected.

According to a new survey, the more often Americans go to church, the more likely they are to support the torture of suspected terrorists. Who would have thought that Dick Cheney’s secret undisclosed hiding place was the back pew at the National Cathedral?

Hollywood insiders say Bruce Willis is in talks to star in three new action films. Bruce continues to say he has no problems with Aston Kutcher being married to his ex-wife Demi Moore, but one of the movies has the working title, “Die Hard With Twitter.”