She can play both Rebecca Howe and the bar

Actress Kirstie Alley admits she’s gained 83 pounds since she stopped being a Jenny Craig spokeswoman in late 2007. If they ever do a “Cheers” reunion show, she can play both Rebecca Howe and the bar.

The University of Wisconsin-Madison campus is bringing in “counseling dogs” to help ease the stress of students preparing for final exams. Before you students get your hopes up, the dogs have been trained to refuse to eat homework.

The topless picture circulating around the Internet of Miss California Carrie Prejean may cost her the crown because she signed a contract saying she’d never been photographed nude or partially nude. She’s hopingjavascript:void(0) to convince the judges she was just promoting breast-feeding to mothers in heterosexual marriages.

Bristol Palin said in an interview that “abstinence is the only way you can effectively, 100% foolproof way you can prevent pregnancy.” She also believes that the only good use for a condom is to pull it over the head of your ex-boyfriend to get him to shut up already.

Ben Southall, a bungee jumping, ostrich-riding British charity worker was named the winner of the “Best Job in the World” contest to serve as caretaker of a tropical Australian island. The second-place finisher will get the second-best job in the world … cameraman on “Dancing With The Stars” for when Melissa Rykoff is dancing.

While in New York, First Lady Michelle Obama visited Sesame Street to tape a Public Service Announcement with Elmo and said it was “probably the best thing I've done at the White House.” On the advice of Joe Biden, she didn’t mention that the Secret Service kept her away from Miss Piggy.

General Motors' new product development chief says the company will have a plug-in hybrid sport utility vehicle ready for testing in early 2011. Since every other carmaker will have one done sooner, GM’s plug-in is expected to be called the Bummer.

NBA Hall of Famer Dave Bing was elected as Detroit's mayor through the end of the year. He plans to use his time in office to change the voting law to elect the next mayor in a game of H-O-R-S-E.

Amazon.com announced a larger and more expensive version of its Kindle electronic reading device that is geared toward periodicals and textbooks. College students who can’t afford the $489 price tag are calling it the Swindle.

The Pentagon plans to create 20,000 new jobs to manage a revamp of the way the military buys billions of dollars of weapons each year. Here’s a cheaper idea … hire one guy who can say “No.”

Customs officials in L.A. arrested a man trying to smuggle songbirds from Vietnam in custom-tailored pants with hidden pockets for the birds. He was also charged with sexual harassment by the woman in the seat next to him who thought his crotch was whistling at her.

Bernard Madoff's longtime secretary says he was flirtatious, made sexually suggestive remarks and liked to visit massage parlors. Madoff has asked her to stop making these statements – not because they’re not true but because they’re turning on his cellmate.