Help them download 'nrop'

A British scientist has developed a 3-D computer program that may help people with dyslexia learn to read. Dyslexic guys also hope the computer program will help them download ‘nrop.’

Mary Kay Letourneau, who served 7 1/2 years in prison for having sex with the sixth-grade student who she eventually married, hosted a “Hot for Teacher” with her now 26-year-old spouse. Dozens of sixth-graders who showed up were disappointed to find out her “pencil-sharpening exhibition” wasn’t a double-entendre.

An openly gay sales rep from Corona, California, claims she had a lesbian relationship with Francine Coppola, the mother of Miss California, Carrie Prejean. Like daughter, like mother. Prejean’s mom claims she was just standing around when a gust of wind tore off her clothes and blew her into the woman’s hot tub.

In his commencement address at the U.S. Naval Academy, President Obama told the graduates he will only send them “into harm's way when it is absolutely necessary.” In his commencement rebuttal, former VP Dick Cheney told the graduates to start practicing carrying buckets of water.

The Interior Department announced that a new law allowing loaded guns in national parks and wildlife refuges will not take effect until next February. That hasn’t stopped Old Faithful from applying for a handgun permit to keep people in Yosemite Park from trying to pee on him again.

House Speaker Nancy Pelosi says she won't talk any more about her charge that the CIA lied in 2002 about using waterboarding on terrorism suspects. When he heard that Pelosi stopped talking, Joe Biden said, “Oh, the humanity!”

A Wyoming man claims he saved his dog's life after sucking venom from a rattlesnake bite out of the animal's nose. The dog’s head had swelled up to three times its normal size and at first the owner wasn’t sure if it was from a snake bite or from him finally having sex with the cute poodle next door.

A 3-year-old girl in New Zealand used her mom’s computer to bid on and buy a real earthmover for $12,300. The mother thought it was an accident until she also got a bill for a 5,000-sqaure-foot sandbox.

American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert says he’s giving up musical theater to become a fulltime recording artist. This disappointed his millions of fans who were hoping to see him as Liza Minnelli in a revival of “Cabaret.”

On his web site, Clay Aiken says “American Idol” runner-up Adam Lambert’s rendition of Johnny Cash’s “Ring of Fire” made his ears bleed. That prompted a call from Gene Simmons of KISS who asked Clay if he could teach him how to do that.

Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band will play the final concert in Giants Stadium before it’s torn down after the 2009 NFL season. If the stadium’s owners were smart, they’d book some of those really bad “American Idol” contestants and let fans tear the stadium down themselves by trying to claw their way out.