Bravehonk

A park in England has given up on finding a mate for a male swan after it allegedly killed two wives and forced another to leave. Mel Gibson is planning to do a movie about the swan called “Bravehonk.”

A woman being chased by Cincinnati police for speeding stopped at all the red lights before she was finally caught. It was the first televised police chase suitable for all audiences.

A woman in South Carolina took her car to the shop because it kept stalling and found out there was a cheeseburger in the gas tank. The bill came to $1000 minus two bucks for the cheeseburger which the mechanic said was just a little greasy.

In Washington state, a woman called 911 after she was locked in an acupuncture clinic after the workers apparently forgot about her and locked her in the office. She’s fine now but until the police got there she was on pins and needles.

The Black Eyed Peas tune “I Gotta Feeling” has become the first song to reach the 6 million mark in digital downloads. That’s not counting another 6 million who don’t need to download it because the song is permanently stuck in their heads.

The latest rumor is that Bristol Palin may call off the wedding because her fiance Levi Johnston may have impregnated his ex-girlfriend while he and Bristol were apart. An attorney for Levi has advised his client to not talk to the media and to avoid walking around Wasilla in a moose costume.

Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer says the company is working with Intel and computer makers to make tablet touch-screen computers. Bill Gates is not involved in the development except to say it need to be strong enough to not break apart when he uses it to smash an iPad.

Sarah Palin criticized President Obama for appearing on “The View” but not taking time to visit the US-Mexico border. On the other hand, Sarah plans to visit the US-Mexico border even though she can see it just fine from her front porch.

It looks like Jennifer Lopez will replace Ellen DeGeneres as a judge on “American Idol.” Music industry experts are comparing this to when the Beatles went from having no drummer to hiring Pete Best.

Brazilian supermodel Lea T announced he’s getting a male-to-female sex change operation. For Lea T, the biggest lifestyle change in going from a male to a female supermodel is going from eating one Slim Jim to one celery stalk a day.