Monday, August 2, 2010

Her dad’s cigar propositions

In Brazil, Unilever is putting a GPS device in boxes of Omo detergent to track shoppers. The location of customers will then be sent to Unilever employees who will show up in the middle of the night with hoses and turn their yards into mud pits.

Lindsay Lohan was released from jail after serving just 13 days of her three-month sentence. She said it was the longest thirteen days of her life … so apparently jailhouse cigarettes made from toilet paper and tea bags aren’t like the real thing.

Chelsea Clinton and Marc Mezvinsky hosted a Sunday brunch for their guests the day after their wedding. This was planned ahead of time in case Chelsea had to apologize to any of her bridesmaids for her dad’s cigar propositions.

Sarah Palin says President Obama doesn't have the “cojones” to secure the U.S. borders. “Cojones” is the Spanish word for testicles, so Palin was either showing off her language skills or got lucky with a new word she made up when her hand got smeared.

A British-led team too 43 days to row across the North Atlantic, breaking a 114-year-old world record by 12 days. The toughest part was when the four-man crew got into a fight over whether to sing “Row, row, row your boat” straight or as a round.

A British auction house is selling an upright piano London's Abbey Road Studios used by The Beatles on “Paperback Writer” and “Tomorrow Never Knows.” The piano is covered with coffee stains and cigarette burns, which were apparently strategically placed there by one band member to cover up carvings that said “Ringo sucks.”

The Obama administration is using Andy Griffith to help sell seniors on Medicare provisions in the healthcare reform law. Andy will share stories on how he wished he had Medicare when Floyd the barber cut his ear or he burned his tongue on Aunt Bea’s hot apple pie.

An Ohio Red Cross chapter is offering people who give a pint of blood the chance to win a car or a horse-drawn buggy if they’re Amish. You can tell things are changing in Amish country because many of them asked if they could bring their own horse and pull the car instead.

Fox News Channel has been given a front-row seat in the White House briefing room that opened up after Helen Thomas retired. Now Fox has to find a correspondent who can actually stay awake during an Obama press conference.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney is still in the hospital after heart surgery in early July. He’s waiting for visit from a specialist from Detroit who developed the Chevy Volt.

On November 8, NBC's Matt Lauer will conduct the first one-on-one TV interview with George W. Bush since Bush left the Oval Office in 2009. Bush will be promoting his new book, so announcing the interview now will give him plenty of time to read it.

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