Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Lamb Hops

The U.S. Marshals Service admitted it has saved 35,000 TSA airport body scan images that make passengers appear nude. What’s really interesting is that you can put the photos in a certain order and flip through them and it looks exactly like a porn video starring Laurence Fishburne’s daughter.

A farmer in China has a two-month-old lamb born with only two legs that can stand up and get around the farm. What do you call a baby sheep with only two legs? Lamb Hops.

Aerosmith's Joe Perry is upset that he found out about Steven Tyler possibly becoming an "American Idol" judge on the Internet like everybody else. It’s not like the old days when Tyler the bandmates gave each other news by writing it in vomit on the bathroom floor.

A Michigan man whose dog chewed off his big toe while he was passed out drunk says the pooch saved his life because doctors in the ER discovered he was diabetic. To show his appreciation, he plans to get the dog drunk and use the same technique to neuter him.

Robert Van Winkle, better known as the rapper Vanilla Ice, will star in a new home-improvement series called “The Vanilla Ice Project.” It’s an appropriate name because his rap career tanked in the 90s and now he’s living in the projects.

Irish-born actor Liam Neeson says he’s too old to play President Abraham Lincoln in Steven Spielberg's upcoming film on Lincoln. Tom Cruise wants to replace him, but only if he can wear stilts and call the movie “Top Hat.”

BP claimed the “static kill” technique used on its blown-out well in the Gulf has plugged the leak. That’s good news for BP and better news for a fabric softener company that was planning to name its new product “Static Kill.”

Iran's official news agency says an explosion near President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad's convoy was just an excited fan setting off fireworks, not an assassination attempt. It also reported that the stain on Ahmadinejad's pants was lemonade.

Two California women were charged with misdemeanors for a fight that turned into a brawl at a kindergarten graduation ceremony. It all started when the moms disagreed on which of their kids should be named nap-edictorian.

A Pennsylvania woman is in trouble for illegally accepting workers' compensation payments while working as a stripper. She thought it was OK because she only allowed guys to fill her g-string with food stamps.

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