Connecting her age spots

After losing an arm-wrestling match, a South Florida man pulled out a rifle and pressed the barrel against the forehead of the man who beat him. He’s been kicked out of the NRA for violating rule number 7: If you’re already armed, there’s no need to arm-wrestle.

A new interactive web site called Suessville.com has been unveiled to introduce kids to the books of Dr. Suess. If Dr. Suess were alive to see this, his next book would be “Get Away From The Computer And Hop On Pop Until He Reads You A Book Out Loud.”

Former Illinois Gov. Rod Blagojevich attended a Chicago-area comic book convention and signed autographs for $50 each. He didn’t give any refunds to disappointed kids who thought he was Jughead from the Archie comics.

A 101-year-old woman got her third tattoo in two years, a sunflower on her arm. The tattoo artist came up with the design after connecting her age spots.

A pig wrestling competition at a county fair in northern Montana was canceled after fair officials were unable to catch any wild boars for the event. That’s what happens when you send out pig catchers who’ve been eating too much deep-fried bacon on a stick.

Paul McCartney, Katie Couric, Christie Brinkley and Jimmy Buffett were among the guests at former President Bill Clinton's 64th birthday party in New York. One embarrassing moment occurred when none of the women at the party would help him blow out the candles.

In Southsea, England, a couple returning from their honeymoon found a 7-foot python in their upstairs bathroom. The husband was a little upset when the wife said she thought she recognized the python from her bachelorette party.

The head of the FDA says more egg recalls may be necessary to stop the recent salmonella outbreak. It’s so bad, the suicide hotline reports numerous calls from the Easter Bunny.

“The Switch,” Jennifer Aniston's new movie about artificial insemination, bombed at the box office in its opening weekend. Moviegoers were confused since “The Expendables,” “Eat, Pray, Love” and “Vampires Suck” sound more like titles of films about artificial insemination.