Served in a sack

A Pennsylvania woman who claims she was groped by Donald Duck while visiting Walt Disney World says the incident caused her to have flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety, headaches, nausea, cold sweats, insomnia and digestive problems. Not to mention head injuries from jumping up instead of bending down when someone yell’s “Duck!”

A New Zealand man with a photographic memory won the 2010 National Scrabble Championship in Dallas. He’s so obsessed with Scrabble, it takes him hours to eat a bowl of alphabet soup.

Guinness World Records officials say a group of 10,267 people in China broke a 10-year-old record for the world's longest chain of human dominoes. They were waiting in line to buy iPads when the person at the front accidentally pulled instead of pushed the door.

India wants to ban BlackBerries, Google and Skype because it believes they’re threats to security. It also doesn’t want people around the world to find out they can solve their own technical problems by using Blackberries, Google and Skype.

Mike Pompeo, a Republican congressional candidate and RNC committee member, apologized for a tweet that called his opponent a "turban topper" who "could be a muslim, a hindu, a buddhist etc who knows." He had no proof that his opponent was an “etc.”

The annual Testicle Cooking World Championship is being held in Ozrem, Serbia. In honor of the main ingredients, all dishes cooked at the festival are served in a sack.

Unbeknownst to their parents, three Florida children bought tickets with baby-sitting money and flew to Nashville, Tenn., on Southwest Airlines. The kids were really disappointed when they spent all that money and not a single flight attendant went postal.

President Barack Obama signed a $600 million border security bill to hire 1,500 new Border patrol agents and other security officers. That’s $400,000 per agent, so apparently they’ll be armed with nuclear rifles.

New Jersey’s 86-year-old Senator Frank Lautenberg is planning to hold a fundraiser at the Lady Gaga concert. The Democrat hasn’t seen a young woman sing while swinging from the ceiling since his Republican colleagues stopped inviting him to their poker parties.

Doctors in Boston discovered that a spot on a 75-year-old man’s chest X-ray turned out to be a pea sprouting in his lung. Luckily, it was removed by the resident pea-diatrician.