The Streisand of Liberty

Jimena Navarrete of Guadalajara, Mexico, is the new Miss Universe, finishing ahead of Miss Jamaica and Miss Australia. Miss USA finished last in the congeniality competition when she followed orders from the White House and completely ignored Miss Iraq.

A German skydiver sat in a rubber boat and solved a Rubik's Cube after jumping out of a plane at 14,000 feet. He’s in training in case Germany ever invades Candyland.

A New Orleans woman was jailed for ten days after she went to court in low-riding shorts which revealed her underwear. She offered to put on a second pair but the judge ruled that two thongs don’t make it right.

In China, the world’s longest traffic jam stretched 60 miles from Beijing to Inner Mongolia and moved at only 2 miles a day. The world’s second-longest traffic jam was going in the opposite direction caused by rubber-neckers.

A Go Topless Day demonstration in San Francisco consisted of 8 topless women and 14 men wearing bikinis, nipple tape or other breast coverings to promote topless equality. The men left when the women suggested they tie bricks to their chests and complain about backaches.

A survey of sex toy sellers in New York found that sales are up despite the tough economy. Unfortunately, many guys are disappointed to find out the unemployment office doesn’t recognize inflatable wives as dependents.

A New York auction house is selling a 2-foot chunk of copper designed to create part of the State of Liberty's nose during the 1980s restoration. It wasn’t used after a test showed it made her look like the Streisand of Liberty.

According to a recent survey, the American city with the most tattoo shops per 100,000 people is Miami Beach, Florida. Not surprisingly, the most popular tattoo there reads: “If found, please return to the nearest retirement community.”

Woody Allen says he switched to shooting movies in European cities because he can’t afford to shoot in New York anymore. It’s so expensive, if he had to shoot it today, one of his most popular movies would be called Hannah and her Imaginary Sisters.

Tiger and Elin Woods’ divorce hearing in a Florida courtroom took ten minutes. Nine of those minutes were devoted to Tiger’s one last attempt to get full custody of Elin’s cute nanny.

Toyota is offering Japanese drivers an optional electronic humming device on the Prius so pedestrians can hear the hybrid car coming. It also comes with a large swatter-shaped hood ornament to scare off lovesick bees.