Unemployediacs

A group of European scientists has developed the world’s first emotional robot that has the emotional skills of a one-year-old child. So far, the only market for a robot that acts like a one-year-old is as a birth control device.

The UK Automobile Association reports that over 17 accidents per day in the UK are caused by “iPod Oblivion,” where drivers are distracted by what’s playing on their iPods. The most common accident occurs when a song about an American car is playing and they automatically drift over to the right side of the road.

Former Vice President Dick Cheney was released from the hospital following surgery last month to install a battery-operated pump in his heart. For the first time in his life, Cheney is more worried about D cells than sleeper cells.

In China, a man who had the world's biggest man boobs finally had an operation to remove the football-sized breasts. Although he was happy to be rid of the breasts, he was disappointed to suddenly discover that he has big feet.

Steven Slater, the flight attendant who lost after a passenger refused to sit down and then exited the plane via the emergency inflatable slide, is getting support from other people who have been victims of rude customers. One of his first calls was from President Obama who asked him to sit next to Joe Wilson at the next State of the Union address.

Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, and the campaign and election will be turned into a reality show. Then he’ll speak at a quantum physics conference on how he managed to turn 15 minutes into 3 years.

A&E is set to broadcast a reality series that will follow actor Tony Danza as he teaches a 10th-grade English class in Philadelphia. Then it will follow 11th-grade students as they try to convince job interviewers that English really is their first language.

Michigan's gubernatorial nominees from both parties said they will both push to change the nickname of state residents from "Michiganian" to "Michigander." Both are preferred over the other popular nickname: “Unemployediacs.”

A man in England lost his drivers license for three years because of a speeding violation even though he claimed he couldn’t read the speedometer because he’s dyslexic. It would have been more believable if hadn’t been doing 55.

A new study found that American girls are beginning puberty at as early as age 7. It’s so bad, pediatricians report that some younger girls are blaming the Terrible Twos on PMS.