Flinging poo at re-gifters

While campaigning for reelection, Alaska’s Senator Ted Stevens accused the Justice Department of trying to smear his character. Stevens got an immediate response from the publishers of Webster’s Dictionary ordering him to stop smearing the character of the word “character.”

Sean Connery returned to his hometown of Edinburgh, Scotland, to launch the release of his autobiography, “Being a Scot.” He doesn’t address accusations of abuse by his ex-wife because e he didn’t want it to be called “Beating a Scot.”

Ace Young is the latest American Idol alumnus to join the Broadway cast of “Grease.” When it comes to American Idol singers, those that can … do. Those that can’t … Grease.

Over the weekend, a sheriff's deputy pulled a gun on members of Diddy's entourage during a routine traffic stop of Diddy’s seven-car convoy. The deputy felt sorry for them and let them go after Diddy showed them his gasoline bill.

German researchers have discovered that grazing cattle and sleeping deer tend to align their bodies along the North-South axis of the Earth's magnetic field, giving new meaning to the phrase “animal magnetism.” It also gives cow-tippers a new excuse that they were just trying to find their way home.

According to a new study, monkeys can experience the joy of giving in much the same way as humans do. The only difference is, monkeys can also experience the joy of flinging poo at re-gifters.

Jon Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen will play acoustic songs before and after Barack Obama's acceptance speech at the convention. John McCain was planning similar musical bookends for his own acceptance speech, but found out Lawrence Welk and Mitch Miller don’t do acoustic songs.

The buzz in Hollywood is that Cher is in talks to play the supervillain Catwoman in the next Batman movie. She won’t take the part until it’s rewritten so that Catwoman has a sidekick played by Bob Mackie.

Collins Dictionaries of Britain said its researchers have estimated that the most commonly misspelled word in the English language is “supersede.” That explains why it’s the number-one cause of spell-checker-induced computer failures.

England's Bristol Zoo has given a pair of gibbons a curfew because their mating sounds are disturbing the zoo’s neighbors, including an elementary school. The kids don’t mind but the principal is tired of having to use the garden hose in the teacher’s lounge.

A man in Scarborough, Ontario, claims an image of the Virgin Mary has appeared in the bark of a tree outside his home. The tree is now full of squirrels praying for bigger nuts.

According to a survey published in the Journal of Women's Health, one-third of women of reproductive age borrow and share medications. The other two-thirds have figured out how to open medicine cabinets quietly.