People were looking up Sally Fields’ habit

Former Republican presidential candidates Mitt Romney and Rudy Giuliani will be in Denver during the Democratic convention. Giuliani hopes to draw attention away from the Democratic convention by attempting to eat 911 Rocky Mountain oysters.

The lineup for the next edition of “Dancing With the Stars” includes Olympic beach volleyball gold medalist Misty May-Treanor, former NFL star Warren Sapp, and 82-year-old Cloris Leachman. The theme of the first dance they do will be “The Good, The Bad and the Ugly.”

Paul McCartney is set to perform in Israel, 40 years after the Beatles were banned from playing in the Holy Land because of fears their lyrics could corrupt Israeli youth. How times have changed. The big concern now is that a young Israeli woman will corrupt Paul McCartney.

The action comedy “Tropic Thunder” topped the box office for the second straight weekend. A lot of tickets were bought by McCain campaign staffers trying to come up with a new popular foreign policy.

In Italy, a priest is organizing an online beauty pageant for nuns called “Miss Sister 2008” to give them more visibility within the Catholic Church and to fight the stereotype that they are all old and mean. He got the idea watching reruns of the old sitcom “The Flying Nun” and noticing how many people were looking up Sally Fields’ habit.

President Bush is sending Vice President Dick Cheney to Georgia in response to the conflict between that country and Russia. Cheney won’t be visiting Russia but he sent an open invitation to Vladimir Putin to meet him at a neutral site for some friendly quail shooting.

Researchers at Georgia Tech have developed a magnetic tongue-powered system that turns a person’s mouth into a virtual computer, teeth into a keyboard and tongue into finger that controls it all. The device should be popular with disabled people, not to mention guys who want to keep both hands free when downloading porn.

The makers of a Indian movie called “Hari Puttar: A Comedy of Terrors” are being sued by Warner Brothers even though they claim their film has nothing to do with “Harry Potter.” If you think Warner Brothers is mad now, wait until they hear about “Harold and Fumar Go To Hogwarts.”

Chinese Olympic officials now blame the confusion over the ages of some of its female gymnasts on “bad paperwork.” Coincidentally, that’s the same excuse they gave for the long line outside the women’s restrooms at the Bird’s Nest.

To boost sagging ratings, “American Idol” is adding a fourth judge: Grammy-nominated songwriter Kara DioGuardi. The producers had hoped to find a judge to match wits with Paula Abdul, but Barney was unavailable.

China deported a British woman, a German man and eight Americans who took part in a protest during the Olympic Games. They were the only ten people in the Bird’s Nest brave enough to stand up and say, “That thing covered with people doesn’t look anything like an Olympic torch.”