Onward Christian Soakers

The story John McCain told pastor Rick Warren about a North Vietnamese prison guard making a cross in the dirt as a sign of solidarity sounds very similar to a story Alexander Solzhenitsyn told about the Soviet Gulags. Next thing you know, we’re going to find out he stole the idea for a campaign bus from Greyhound.

Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf spoke for almost an hour before revealing that he was resigning his office. That’s still second in length to the resignation speech of Hillary Clinton, which is going into its third month.

Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice called resigning Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf “one of the world's most committed partners in the war against terrorism and extremism.” Then she told Musharraf to stop asking Scott McClellan for tips on how to write a book.

In Australia, a lost baby humpback whale has bonded with a yacht it thinks is its mother. It’s not the yacht. Witnesses say the whale was actually attracted to the boat because the skipper was watching Michael Phelps on a portable TV.

Iran test launched a rocket that was carrying a dummy satellite. The test was successful -- the satellite flew over Washington and had no trouble picking out the dummies.

Olympic swimming superstar Michael Phelps says he wants to use his eight-gold-medal-winning performance to “change the sport of swimming in a positive way.” The first thing he needs to do is convince millions of Americans that it takes more than 12,000-calorie diets and a Speedo swimsuit.

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi says convicted Mafia bosses spending time in Italian jails will no longer be allowed to sing while incarcerated because some used their songs to pass orders to outside forces. He got suspicious when he heard that one boss sang nothing but “Freebird.”

A group of young people in Boston reenacted a Civil War battle using squirt guns instead of rifles. What did they sing going into battle … Onward Christian Soakers?

According to The Sunday Times of London, hundreds of families across Britain are raising miniature cattle in their backyards to fight rising food prices. This is great for many retired jockeys who are enjoying second careers as miniature butchers.

Three-time Olympic beach volleyball player Holly McPeak - a bronze medallist for the U.S. in 2004 - says female players wear bikinis because diving for balls causes one-piece suits to collect too much sand. Holly deserves a gold medal for saving male beach volleyball fans from dirty looks from their wives.

Terrafugia, based in Woburn, Massachusetts, says it has already received more than 50 orders for a two-seater car designed to leave the road and fly like an airplane, which will be available in 2010. It’s just like George Jetson’s car, except the Transportation Security Administration requires that you drive it in stocking feet.

Swiss scientists say they have discovered electrical stimulation of the brain can produce more careful driving behavior without the driver knowing it. Hmm … how do you get a driver to ignore a wire running from his ear to the cigarette lighter?