A sexually ‘disoriented’ business

A woman sued Adams Township, Pennsylvania, for refusing to allow her to open a dance studio that featured pole-dancing exercise classes on the grounds it was a sexually oriented business. Female clients are defending her, saying that a few spins around the pole make it more of a sexually ‘disoriented’ business.

On October 1, Comcast Corporation, the nation's second-largest Internet service provider, will begin limiting customers to 250 gigabytes of traffic per month. This won’t cause much of a stir until Comcast translates it into a figure users can understand, like 1,000 porn videos per month.

In Brazil, an 18-month-old boy was treated for minor fractures after his disposable diaper caught on a security spike and slowed down his 30-foot fall out of an apartment window. The boy was kept in the hospital for observation, but his doctor allowed his mom in for a minute to give his Huggie a huggie.

David Duchovny, star of the Showtime series “Californication,” has entered a rehabilitation facility for sex addiction. His wife called for an intervention after he refused to stop watching “The XXX Files: I Want To Be Licked.”

According to a report in the journal Current Biology, researchers have found that the brains of flies are specially wired to avoid getting hit by a swatter. The best thing to use is a rolled-up journal with an article on swatters that momentarily distracts the fly.

Officials say over 84,000 people heard Barack Obama's acceptance speech at Invesco Field at Mile High Stadium in Denver. The only way to get that many Republicans to fill a football stadium is to have a halftime show featuring an investment seminar by Merrill Lynch.

John McCain surprised everybody by picking 44-year-old Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate. I don’t know about Republican voters, but this could be just the thing to shock Bill Clinton back into the McCain camp.

Will Hillary Clinton’s supporters switch to John McCain now that he’s chosen Alaska Governor Sarah Palin as his running mate? That depends on how she looks in a down-filled pantsuit.

A survey by a British recruitment firm found that 40 percent of British office workers have had a romantic relationship with a co-worker. That number is much higher at British firms that have a company dental plan.

A Kentucky college student has sued an anonymous poster on a newspaper forum who said she had exposed herself to a woman and children at a mall by wearing a miniskirt that was too short. The forum now shows that the student has the support of thousands of anonymous husbands who saw her while waiting for their wives to finish shopping.

A Canadian company called McCain Foods is using the presidential campaign of John McCain -- no relation to the company -- in U.S. ads for its frozen potato products. The real McCain is thinking about sending Karl Rove to Canada to convince McCain Foods to change the product name to “frozen freedom fries.”

A woman in Lincoln, England, says her wedding, which is scheduled for next week, may be postponed after she swallowed a nail that was inside her macaroni dish. It’s her own fault. The possibility of nail consumption is why the commercial goes, “Uh-oh, Spaghetti-O’s.”