The Burger King Employee Did Not Have A Whopper.

New York Jets quarterback Brett Favre says his right arm is feeling “fatigued.” As a result, the Jets coaching staff has ordered him to use his left arm for carrying his wallet and counting his money.

Fans of Elvis Presley can now get official, Graceland-approved Elvis and Priscilla wedding dolls for $65 for the boxed set. Talk about authentic -- the Priscilla doll and the real Priscilla Presley contain exactly the same amount of plastic.

Paris Hilton is being sued for $75,000 for not promoting the 2004 movie “National Lampoon's Pledge This!” which she starred in. She was so bad in that movie, her co-stars still call her the “Lemon Pledge.”

President Bush postponed ending his vacation at the Olympics and starting his vacation in Crawford to spend an extra day monitoring the situation in Georgia. He spent the day trying to convince Michael Phelps to join the Armed Forces to help train Navy SEALS.

Best Buy is the first U.S. retail chain to sell the iPhone outside of Apple and AT&T stores. To attract typical Best Buy customers, Apple will offer apps that keep track of what’s in your refrigerator and help you sort out clothes for the washing machine.

Burger King has fired a Xenia, Ohio, employee whose MySpace page showed a video of him taking a soapy bath in the nude in a utility sink in the restaurant. It wouldn’t have been so bad but, when he stood up, the video clearly showed that the Burger King employee did not have a whopper.

Google has launched a free music search service in China that allows users to access music legally online. Unfortunately, in keeping with Chinese government policy, the songs are all lip-synched by karaoke singers.

According to a new British study, clumsy children with poor hand control and coordination are more likely to become obese adults. Duh! What do you expect to happen to kids who go through 12 years of school without once getting picked to play dodgeball?

At a trial in Houston, three first-class passengers said that they didn't see any signs that Victoria Osteen, the wife of megachurch evangelist Joel Osteen, assaulted a flight attendant while on a plane in 2005. Lawyers for the victim now say her husband secretly laid his hands and healed the flight attendant before she could be examined.

In Harrison, Michigan, a man found a naked and drunk college coed in his yard when he went out to turn off his decorative lights. After calling the police to take her home, the man put ice on the huge bruise he got pinching himself to see if he was awake.

A three-alarm fire at Apple's Cupertino, California, headquarters this week was quickly brought under control by firefighters. The fire would have been under control sooner but, instead of calling 9-1-1, hundreds of employees tried to code an iPhone app to put it out.

A new study found that being made fun of on Comedy Central's “The Colbert Report” pays off for Democratic politicians in the form of a bump in campaign contributions. Republican candidates get a similar bump when they’re made fun of on “60 Minutes.”

The California-based Jewelry Consumer Opinion Council said watch companies have reported declining sales of between 8 percent and 15 percent since 2006 and are predicting the end of watches. Not to mention Eight O’Clock Coffee.

A Berne, Switzerland, museum said a giant inflatable piece of art resembling dog feces was uprooted by a gust of wind and caused damage in the neighborhood. It was apparently being secretly tested by Republicans planning to crash the Democratic convention.