One way to brag about your crack debate team

Netflix admits that major technical problems this past week have severely limited the number of DVDs it could send out. The company denies rumors the system was sabotaged by someone trying to destroy all copies of Pauly Shore movies.

Although he was banned from the campaign after calling the U.S. “a nation of whiners,” former Senator Phil Gramm was complimented by John McCain at a fundraising dinner. The bad news is, McCain complimented Gramm for bringing the food and drinks to the tables without spilling anything.

Barack Obama released a 40-page rebuttal to the best-selling book “The Obama Nation,” calling author Jerome Corsi a fringe bigot peddling rehashed lies. It doesn’t include a response to Corsi’s latest claim that Obama went water-skiing in Hawaii behind a swift boat piloted by John Kerry.

Donald Trump has saved Ed McMahon's Beverly Hills mansion from foreclosure by buying it for an undisclosed amount and leasing it back to McMahon. Ed was so grateful, he promised to call current Tonight Show host Jay Leno and ask him to stop telling jokes about The Donald’s hair.

Jackson Browne is suing John McCain and the Republican national committee for using his song “Running on Empty” without his permission. When he heard about the suit, McCain sent a note which said, “I knew Andrew Jackson Browne. Andrew Jackson Browne was a friend of mine. Sir, you’re no Andrew Jackson Browne.”

A popular YouTube video shows two college debate team coaches in a profanity-filled argument that ends with one pulling down his pants. I guess that’s one way to brag about your crack debate team.

A convenience store gas station in San Antonio lost quite a bit of money due to a pump malfunction that priced premium gas at 38 cents a gallon instead of $3.89. The store owner hopes to make up for the loss by secretly raising the price of Slim Jims to five bucks apiece.

A couple in Des Moines, Washington, decided to shut down the swingers sex club they operated out of their home after they were cited by the city for running a business without a license. They were actually hoping to be punished and even offered to provide their own whips, chains and handcuffs.

A woman in Queensland, Australia, is selling a pair of black lace panties on eBay that she says were left at her home by her husband's alleged mistress. In a related story, Elizabeth Edwards is auctioning off panties, a video camera and a canceled check for $14,000.

Two men in Georgia claim the hairy corpse they found in the woods of northern Georgia and now have crammed in their freezer is Bigfoot. Bigfoot experts doubt the claim, especially since pictures of the freezer also show packages labeled “Martian,” “Tooth Fairy” and “Easter Bunny.”